How to Crawl Out of Your Hole

Without being too dramatic, I’ve basically dug myself into a hole for the past couple of years. Upon graduating from college, something happened where I became utterly overwhelmed, self-absorbed, and somewhat disenfranchised. It’s as if life were moving by and I was just kind of sitting there being moved by it.

I’d like to say it was unintentional and that the realities of my current profession kind of captured me and drowned me for a period of time. It was all consuming, transferring into my emotions, thoughts, and relationships. I would say that it’s just because I’m a teacher and “that first year is the hardest,” but I’d also say that this could be true for many of us spoiled millennials who never really grew all the way up and are doing that now. Which is totally okay, I realize.

But, alas, it is just about 2 years of this, and I feel like I’m finally crawling out of my hole. Exiting my “leave-me-alone, please don’t try to hang out with me, no, I don’t know how I’m feeling” mentality, and in the most cliche way possible, finding myself again. I’M BACK, PEOPLE.

“How do you do this?” you ask? Oh, you didn’t ask? Well, here’s some things that I’ve done or haven’t done and should probably do more of:

  1. Stop thinking about yourself all the time. This is hard because when we’re being totally honest, we only really care about ourselves. When it comes down to it, a lot of things we do are fueled by what we will get or what we might feel. I think the first step for me is to stop thinking about myself. Like, literally, replace the thought of how I feel to how the other person might feel. Obviously, this is hard. And, my husband would definitely appreciate if I did this more. So, maybe ask somebody else less selfish on how to actually do this.
  2. Call a friend and ask them a good question. Or, better yet, meet up with them. As we started leading a group at church, I started to meet up with friends again. And, it’s amazing how this has provided its’ own redemptive properties in and of itself. Being invested in somebody else’s story for even just an hour helped me to consider them more deeply, and in turn, consider myself a little bit less.
  3. Don’t be afraid to get help. In general, I like to figure things out on my own. I’d rather not ask questions and almost always pick the option where I don’t have to engage or get help. However, even in the simplest forms and smallest ways, I’ve been trying to ask that question I think is small and almost always am glad that I did. Other people are likely helpful, and if they’re not, you’re giving them an opportunity to grow in that, step up, and do something. It’s a win-win.
  4. Write it down in a journal. Tracking my prayers and my thoughts has helped me see how far I’ve come and increase my awareness of the bigger pieces in my life that are moving that are way beyond my control. For me, this manifests itself in seeing how God answers prayers and learning that I can let go of things piece by piece, moment by moment.
  5. Keep showing up. If we’re being completely honest, I don’t think I really did much to see myself start crawling out of this hole. A lot of it was just showing up. Then, accepting the fact that I have to keep showing up and trying to stop being so angry every time my alarm went off in the morning. I’ve noticed a trend in a lot of my peers, where after working at the same place for a year, we no longer hate it. We’ve come to accept where we are. Being okay with what we have is pretty much the whole battle. Because once you’re okay with it, somehow everything starts to seem not so bad after all. “I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it” seems to be the anthem of our years and that’s a step up from where we were a year go.

What about you? What do you do or think or create or say to crawl our of your hole? 

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “How to Crawl Out of Your Hole

  1. I don’t know – starting a brand-new career can really drain you of time and energy. Maybe it is not so much that you were “in a hole” as you were simply adjusting to the new demands and expectations placed upon you as your life was shifting in a new direction. Anyway, I’m glad to read that you are finding yourself and finding ways to include people and things that help you to feel whole. As for me, I’ve pretty much dropped all interest in building any kind of social life until I manage to find a well-paying, full-time job. Until that happens, I have zero energy for or interest in pursuing any kind of social relationships other than those that lead to a job. Is that a hole? Who knows? I see it more as a singly-focused phase of life.

    1. Thanks for your thoughts! I think for me, it was more so the way that I handled and experienced this certain season of life that made me feel like I was “in a hole.” But, I totally agree that there are times when it is wise to be more focused on certain areas of life over others. But, friends are good for our soul, too! Best wishes in finding a job you love!

  2. Hi Meagan!! Not long ago I began reading all your blog posts haha and honestly, they’re really great. However, this one especially hits home for me. I feel like even just being in PDS and having a job at the same time has made me feel like I’ve also dug myself a hole of the exact mentality you had and feeling sorry for myself, wishing people would understand what I’m going through, etc. I’m beginning to also realize though that life is much more fulfilling when you’re around others and really relishing the time you have getting to know their stories. Anyways, thank you for writing this post. It was very relatable. ❤

  3. I felt like this when I graduated as well. I was trying to find a job and I kept playing the “woe is me” card. It was really hard. I kept feeling like I was digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole of sadness. I’m just crawling out right now. And I’m going to use your suggestions to help me get out a little faster and easier. Thank you for sharing.

  4. I love this post! I’m a bit of a “late-bloomer” in life, as far as teaching for and becoming “an adult”. I grew up pretty much nomadic, and nothing was ever set in stone. Now that I’m settling in and have some true roots with my husband in our own home, I’ve been exploring who I am a lot more… and I find that I want to do more, give more. I’m just getting warmed up and I’m far from being fresh from college – you’re a remarkable woman in my eyes! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s