C is for Change

In the month of February, I’m challenging myself to write more (everyday), share more, and risk more. Welcome to my A to Z series based on whatever came to my mind first. 😉 Enjoy the ride! 

I have a mixed relationship with change. I both fear it, but crave it. In 2014, when my student status turned to working, and my relationship status turned to engagement, and I began life as an “actual adult,” I freaked a little bit. In 2015, when wedding planning continued, and Josh and I became one, it was all so exciting. But, these changes were big and a lot to process. The excitement was almost too much. In 2016, when major life events stayed the same and the only change was a move from one classroom to another, I became a little bored. What? 

In talking to a lot of people my age aka millennials aka spoiled brats to the rest of the world, a lot of us seem to want to make a change. What that means, none of us know. But, in processing this, I’ve considered two major types of change:

Bad to Good

This is when you wake up and you dread the coming hours. Constantly tired, overworked, and stressed, you crave a reprieve. Change comes as a warm embrace, a breath of fresh air, and the best friend that you’ve always wanted. When change comes, anything is better than what you had before. And because of that, you and change are BFFs.

Good to Bad

Things are great and walk with a pep in your step. Your outlook on life is positive, bright, and shiny. You are excited each day. Change comes as a nasty cold, a nagging cough, and that mean frenemy that loves to call out your insecurities. When change comes, you dread it because what you had was already what you wanted. It either comes when you least expect it and catches you off guard, or happens slowly over time. You and change are mortal enemies. 

Obviously, there are many things out of our control. But putting aside those those uncontrollable factors, I think the problem with making a change is that our situations are not all good and not all bad. Likewise, the change you are seeking to make is also neither all good or all bad.

So, what’s a conflicted 20-something to do?

I don’t know.

I’m sure you read this thinking that I’d tell you something useful. But alas, maybe I do know something.

In all of my best English, I will leave you with this: Don’t do nothing. 

Each year, I know more of who I am. I’ve loved the change that has happened on the outside of me, as well as the inside. Each year, I know more of who I want to be. And because of that, whether big or small, I must take steps that make me into that person.

Do something. Test it out. See what happens. Whether the something you choose to do is on the inside or out, for the love of all of those people who have to hear us complain about wanting to make a change but never actually seeing us doing anything, we’ve got to do something.

Here is my something. (This blog, ya goobers.)

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