L is for Love

IMG_6258This is probably what you picture when you think of love. I like to picture this too because this shows the most gooey, easy, and fun part of loving Josh.

Not pictured: Meagan going completely manic over Josh asking what she wants to eat for dinner because Josh didn’t say it in a very nice voice and he should’ve already known so now Meagan will cry over why Josh doesn’t care about her while Josh pleads with her  as he starts yelling emphatically that he actually does care.

I’m not saying whether what is not pictured actually has happened or not, but I’m sure that you can just use your imagination. I’m a totally well-adjusted normal human being capable of communicating my feelings and thoughts. I teach kids how to manage their anger and resolve conflict and walk through the peace path to reach reconciliation. Surely, I could walk the peace path with my husband.

I’m not saying I can’t. But, I’m not saying it’s easy. And, often times for me, it’s easier to lose it than to even try to win at it.

My mom tells me that her and my dad used to do this too until they got too old to remember what even bothered them.

I’m sure we’ll all get there when we grow up.

But, in the mean time, I think we all need to adjust our expectations for what it means to be in love. People say it all the time, but I’m here to say it again because it’s true. Josh would agree that I forget a lot of things. I forget that he loves me, I forget that there’s clothes in the dryer, I forget to remember what he asks me to do about that things that I keep forgetting to return to that one story that I forgot the name of.

So, I’m here to say it to myself more than anything so that I can look back and read this blog and realize that I’m capable of being emotionally stable.

Love is a lot of things, but we can’t expect it to be all the things for our souls. Our loved ones can mean so much to us, but we can’t expect them to make us whole.

What I can expect from being in love is to communicate way more about tiny things that I ever thought was possible. (How long can one really talk about the importance of turning the light off in the closet and the deep down soul meaning of that flip of a switch for this other human? Apparently, Josh and I can.) I can expect to recognize all of the selfishness that I possess, and all the things that I thought that I was pretty good at as a human…be things that I actually need to improve on, a lot.

What I can expect from being in love is that I will be challenged, cherished, and changed.